t-h complex...

World is still spinning here!

I have been trying to stay grounded with all of the madness, and if it were not for the loving support of several friends, the feeling, thoughts and self talk would be deafening. Especially when you are not able to connect, secondary to the process that must occur in order for a mutual and loving understanding to evolve. must.trust.the.process.

Difficult indeed when the avenue of communication is temporarily closed. It has to be for now, for sometimes we need that silence to regroup, appreciate and be gracious. And of course it is natural to wonder what the other is thinking, feeling, what is motivating them to make certain choices, yet we are not to know now and when it is time, we shall know. As my coffee buddy offered as a thought, one of the challenging things is to be sure that we are navigating the

…t-h complex: where the truth is told while being honest with one’s self,

with the hopes that both individuals, during the silence, are seeking that balance, so that when they come together with everything on the table, the exchange is genuine, creating a solid foundation upon which each can build.

Truth and honesty are delicate, personal while at the same time chaos and others depend upon it. It is easy to get caught in the illusion, hence silence allows one to embrace the beauty that is occurring and make sense of it. Swallow it whole, relish it and continue building.

It is my coffee buddy that mentioned this to me in an e mail. It takes being honest with yourself— facing your fears, recognizing that you may do things to avoid confronting issues, avoid being loved, whatever it may be. Next step, speak truth to power to the one you love, armed with the honesty of yourself. Scary path, and not everyone wishes to engage in it.

On the flip—what if the person you love is evading the self honesty? Could it be that there is a process in place and all that will take is time, or are they too afraid to be so vulnerable? And what to do when coming together, does the lack of self honesty thwart the truth? If we can see the other’s honesty, do we say something? There are many reasons one cannot be self honest, the largest being the fear of being vulnerable and close to someone it is a frightening journey, what to do…

I am in that spot right now. And all I can do is let that person go through their process, with the hope that self honesty is playing a role. Of course I see things, I still love this person regardless, yet I also know that things cannot move forward, the relationship cannot develop without that honesty—from the both of us. For a relationship to survive the sea—rough, smooth, moonlight filled—both must be committed to working on the self honesty, together.

question: what is your truth, honestly?