Today marks a day that at one point signified a celebration, yet now is reflective of a commitment unfulfilled, where one person is ready to take things to the next level, only to find the other nowhere in sight. And I actually am thankful for this day, even though I will not wake up with that same person 40, 50 years from now, for I have learned that
...embracing adversity: accepting things that seem to be negative, unfortunate or a perceived barrier
is an opportunity in the making. All depends on how we look at it.
It is tough, especially in those trying times, those yet-to-be-discovered-damn-it-where-is-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel moments where it seems almost impossible to make it through. Ah, once again… *trust the process*.
As I stood, feeling defeated, giving it my all and everything in me to make it work, I realized that it is not possible when others wish to not comply. And at the time I was frustrated, lost, panicked to the point that I could not breathe—not that healthy, inspiring lack of breath we get when our socks are blown off—no, actually the one where there is nothing left to give. When we think we can make things happen, we learn the hard way that although we create our own luck, we find that there is something else, possibly someone else awaiting us to take the challenge of growing as an individual so that we can contribute at a later time.
On the flip—what if the lack of breath is a good thing? Were we not to be totally expended, we would never realize that the very thing that drained us is indeed that—a drain. And then we would not have the opportunity to evaluate ourselves, reflect, and take a good look at who we are and see the areas that need to be developed. Now, as for the drain comment, it is not meant as a barb—there are many in this world that are trapped inside themselves, unable to reciprocate for they just simply do not know how—and let us not forget that at times we are complicit. And then comes *the walk* conversation we had—is it a bad thing to walk, where we walk from the one who cannot reciprocate, the one who acknowledges that very fact that they do not know how, yet consciously chooses not to work on it?
There is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, and of course as the process runs her course, now I understand. Had I not shown up on 11 October 1997, I would not be here today. I would not have made the choices I made, paid prices every now and then, nor have reaped the rewards of where I am now, this very minute, had I not shown up at The Abbey in Atlanta. I would not be the woman I am today, for those experiences, a combination of joy and at times pain, would have not given me the *red flags* needed to grow. In fact, I am thankful. Deliriously so. For now I know myself better, what needs and desires I have and my value system is in place.
And I would not be in Denmark now, either, awaiting my next adventure of a lifetime, possibly for a lifetime…
question: what is your adversity?
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3 comments:
Adversity? Well, first of all I had to look it up :o) What I got was: affliction, bad break*, bad news, bummer*, calamity, catastrophe, clutch, cold, contretemps, crunch*, difficulty, disaster, distress, downer*, drag*, evil eye*, grabber, hard knocks*, hard time, hard times, hardship, holy mess, hurting, ill fortune, jam, jinx, misery, misfortune, mishap, pickle, poison*, reverse, rotten break, rotten luck, scrape, sorrow, suffering, the worst*, tough break, tough luck*, trial, trouble, unholy mess
Damn, that's a bunch of bad words to start up your tuesday morning! What about: unholy mess!!!
Back to your question. My adversity is not too different. When you feel the people around you are not giving you what you feel you need, and what you feel you give them. Or when you are met with hostility or criticism when all you need is a smile or a friendly face.
A task for you: What is the english word for ros? I run on it as a fuel :o) And try to give others (but don't always manage it :o(
I feel ya!
*ros* in English means praise. Something that we definitely need to do more of with one another.
Although praise in itself is usually associated with *good job*, we must remember its important underlying current: that it is acknowledgement of another's presence and contributions.
BTW-- I cannot thank you enough for pulling me away for our chats. I really do enjoy that time we have, getting away for a bit to banter about life. Many, many thanks! :)
Me too :o)
And yes! You've described it better than I could (again :o). I think Ros is a good thing when you have done something well. Of course.
On the other hand I do believe that giving ros to someone who've clearly screwed something up it to mock that person. Even when it is unclear why you're really Rosing. Then don't.
But as you say, what you can (should) do is just give a reminder for that person that he/she - perhaps in spite of everything - is appreciated, is welcomed in your midst, and is valued in some way.
Because as Tove said at a meeting today: Nobody are good at everything. But we are all good at something. The quote she meant was from Gummi-Tarzan (do you know him?). I might add: We're best together :o)
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