30 October 2006

me aguado...

Ok, I admit it, I have hit my reaching point!

Things have not gone as swimmingly as I had expected—thesis is struggling, in the sense that I am running out of time, work has me drowning and everything outside of that is, for the most part, going to the degree of normalcy.

The silence of normalcy over the past couple of weeks has been a welcomed phenomena—I can concentrate to a degree, things are not as demanding—yet as I sit here tonight the silence is deafening. Where are you…

And then I made up my mind. I am TOTALLY

…me aguado: de esto, y creo que no puedo a respirar más para esto minuto

because I feel like I am drowning. Dig me?

The above translates to *I am fed up with this, and I believe that I cannot breathe much more at this moment*

Been there?

I am wondering why in the world I am even at this point, other than I brought it on myself by not managing my time correctly, or even allowing myself to be there for others and other things when I should have said *no*.

Regardless I am here, and it is a bit frightening. I hate it when this happens!

On the flip—- is this another red flag? Possibly. We all need something at sometime to self regulate. Sometimes we want to give, so much, for it is in our being to do so, yet we are human and can only give so much. Or maybe it is our desire to be needed that drives us to this point.

Either way, I, like you, shall recover. Somehow. Sometime. Somewhere.

question: what is your aguado?

(aguado—the thing that makes you fed up to the point that you are willing to change course)

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