releasing the...

Whoa! Something just hit me tonight! Another *I get it! I get it!*

I was driving home and heard a Tina Dico song playing on the radio (weird here, for she is Danish is not played often on the radio here). I felt uplifted, excited. I realize I am

…releasing the: pain and sorrow over the past few weeks

and am in the stages of spiritual renewal.

Her CD *In the Red* is significant for me. My 35th birthday gift from my *boyfriend* at work, I did not open it immediately when I received it, which is good for when I did, I was ready to listen (otherwise I would not have been as receptive, and what a blessing it was that I waited to play it).

I popped it into the brat-mobile’s CD player first in early October 2006. It reminds me of someone and the tender experiences we shared. I played it many times, for it brought sweet memories and created even sweeter ones. Then, it became a source of sadness after things ended and I thought I could never bear to hear her voice again.

The song that was playing is my favourite, *Warm Sand*. Usually it would have made me cry, thinking of the last time I heard it and where I was, yet this time I felt beautiful. Especially the chorus:

Warm sand underneath my feet,
no promises left for you to keep.
Fortune’s smiling back at me,
forgetting the things that could have been,
the things that might have been
and the things that should have been…

I was singing at the top of my lungs, even though I am still a little off key with my cold (damn it, Jesper!). Empowering. Uplifting.

On the flip—what to do when you cannot get past the music? What if that moment does not come, or what if it the feeling of letting go is temporary?

Of course we may wake up in a few days and feel down temporarily, with the high seemingly long gone. Yet think about it, a few days have gone by without the pain and what a gift it is. Soon those days will turn into longer stretches of days, then possibly weeks, then months with intermittent blue ones. Hopeful indeed!

After all, my book is not finished, I am open to everything, anything and everyone who enters and re-enters my journey.

question: when do you sing?