close enough...

I get it! I get it!

I now realize why this last month, with the unknown and ensuing fall out, has hurt so much!

For the first time I have let someone

…close enough: to hurt me

and wow, how painful it can be! Yet liberating…

I think we all go through life looking for the soulmate without taking the risk—the risk of giving all of our self, in pure vulnerability. We are so guarded, keeping things in us close to us, calculate, and run so that we will not truly, deeply nor profoundly hurt should things have to end. Even if it the *end* is for a little while, for we never truly know if we will pick it up again with the same person down the road.

Even if we do not return to the journey with the person we have loved so, is it not wonderful to love freely, without inhibition? Yes, the pain hurts, the heart aches, the soul does not understand while the brain with its logic is trying to make sense of it all.

When we fall in love with someone new, it is an amazing ride on the merry go round. Yet, we forget that people are new only for the first day… then they can make us happy, sad, thrilled, as we get to know one another .. and one may run for that innocence of newness fades and the work commences. Or it is perceived as fading, and misperceived as work. More than likely, it is just that they are afraid to give and do not know how to receive love, and therefore run for the hills.

On the flip—what if we never, truly, in an unadulterated fashion, love and give? What if we decide to run instead?

If we choose to run, we end up avoiding our self, the one who truly loves us and our whole life.

We are all scared, to a degree. I was, I admitted it. Love, pure, honest, open and accepting love is scary. When we are not ready-- when we do not face up to our self honesty-- we let the little person inside take over and we run.

I did not run. I am tired of running from my self, the one who loves me and my whole life. I chose to face myself with honesty over a year ago and chose to never run again. I was, and am, living my life and being my authentic self. I could only imagine if the other did stay as well, as opposed to running away… for staying is the “greatest adventure of all”. I look forward to the time when the other chooses to stay for the adventure too.

Either way, I continue on. Life is amazing, especially when we give it our all in everything we do.

question: who is your adventure?