Another solo night at home! This week has been rather uneventful, which is good. Yes, the silence of being alone at times is dull, angst filled and outright lonely at times, yet when taking a step back and looking at things from the larger perspective, it is wholesome. Next week has me in the UK for a few days, and then in the US 14 to 20 March. And April Fool’s weekend has girly weekend away, destination still unknown!
So needless to say the TV has been on, quietly in the background, for a little *white noise* (addie’s term!). A show called *House* running one night and a line stood out:
…“we crave: meaning so that we can create happiness”.
Or self propelled misery, sadness, joy, bliss…
We assign meaning to everything we do, see, feel, hear, touch and experience. It is a process in which we make sense of the world around us, only to give sense to whatever crosses our path, hence creating meaning.
On the flip—is happiness created when we have meaning, even though it is sad in nature? What if having meaning alone, regardless of the pain or joy, is inherent to the human condition?
What I have been through over the past few months was joyous and sad. And then lately (especially this past week!) it has been uneventful. I am content, yet it seems that there was a greater purpose in life, like being propelled into a mission (for me craving a healing one) and hence meaning. The happiness came after things made sense, after the meaning became clear and I understood where the process was leading me.
Ok, maybe I am reaching for a few straws. Yet it seems that when creating meaning, it leads to purpose, process, understanding then happiness. I know from my personal experiences, fighting the demons inside, once I understood the context of little Jenny and who I am as an adult, it allowed me to let go of the painful past and have a new sense of meaning. I have never been happier nor more peaceful (yes, there are down days every now and then, that is what makes life interestingly beautiful). It allowed me to share myself freely with another and to not run away from myself, the one who loves me nor my life. Yes, I think I have reached that peaceful bliss.
Even when alone.
question: what do you crave?
quien yo soy
- ignorant bliss
- globe trotting american expat living (permanently! as long as the globe will have me!) overseas, still learning about who i am and what i can give to this world. "anticipate anything and expect everything"............ and trust.the.process.
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Oh my god.... Barca is so strong !15 years ago
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1 comment:
People are different. Some prefer being around others, some prefer the solitude. Some can be happy in either case. I guess that it means that whether you are happy or not comes from yourself.
One of my running mates is divorced and has been living alone for years. He said something like "you need to get used to being alone, but then it's really ok".
My guru Guntram said - dont know if you remember - that it is no good to only be whole as a person if you're with someone else. youve got to be whole by yourself.
But then again, people are different.
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