There are very simple things that we can do in our lives to make a difference, to open up others around us to embrace their being-ness so that communally in this world we can become beautiful. It takes a degree of strength as an individual to do this, to challenge others, for it requires us to open ourselves up to getting pot shots at our vulnerability, particularly when we are employing our gratuity and openness in regular company.
As I was driving to the airport in the US yesterday in NJ, there was a man walking with a backpack and a sign, visible from behind and in front, that said *walking coast to coast, talking about us, mindmaymeet.org*. I quickly SMS’d to myself the web address, so that when I got home I could look at the site. Upon reading the few entries in place, I realized that I was
…encountering bravery: someone who dares us to talk, engage as individuals, as human beings, to share from one being to another in conversation free of hesitation and judgement to make the world a better place
“…because I sense a great underlying sadness and bewilderment about our world. A great unspoken doubt about the wisdom of our official actions. And a vast silence where there should be a prominent tradition of discussion, spanning all cultures and classes, about the state of our great human objectives.” (from his first entry at www.mindsmaymeet.org)
I hope that I am not violating his aim by *glocalizing* his work, for he is shaping conversation, urging us to connect one on one, in the US by walking from coast to coast. I am inspired by his entries so far, he has a keen eye for the epicentre of the human condition as revealed in his words. His goals are similar to mine in the sense that there is a need to create conversations between us as individual beings to explore, implore and challenge ourselves to cross that silent divide and share, think, feel and act.
Yet his aims and how he is committing himself to make a difference are deeper and more profound—he feels that sadness permeating the human condition, he is deeply connected to the human spirit and he is brave to challenge us all—one on one--in a unique and selfless way. One physical step at a time across the US.
Hats off to the *unknown*. We all should aim to be as brave. We may not be able to demonstrate it in the same manner, yet however we do it in our part of the world, whether it be geographical or our daily surroundings, is what counts.
Please visit his site, open up, contribute, explore. E mail him with conversation at fellowhuman@mindsmaymeet.org. And please heed his desire to remain anonymous, as well as to not ask what facilitated his journey. Just be. That is all.
On the flip—what if there are some that lurk, unable to engage in the conversation? It could be that the pain inside is so hard to bear, that the mere thought of being the authentic self in the company of others is frightening, paralysing. Or maybe some just have nothing to say…
Either way, the *unknown*’s observation of the human condition, I feel, is spot on. There is an underlying sadness, somewhere, in all of us, and collectively it hums under the surface. We need connectedness with one another, it is inherent to our being, and conversation is the first step to healing and empowerment.
question: how are you brave?
28 December 2006
23 December 2006
retooling reactions...
the past couple of weeks for me soulfully have been rather deep with introspection, and my body is reacting in a way that I am not familiar with. I am learning a lot about myself. Let me give you some insight as to why I am
…retooling reactions: where I am even more so evaluating and adjusting how I embrace things, based on self talk balanced with loving gratuity
particularly in one special situation.
As you know, I have stopped smoking. Wow, what a trip that has been!! My body has been numb, I have felt dizzy, lips are stinging. At the same time, I also stopped my graduate education by turning in my thesis. While I wrote my thesis, I sat in front of my sunlamp (Florida girl in one of the darkest spots on earth—trouble!!). So all at once my body was thrown into a tailspin of changes. Then I realized, that for the first time in my life, I can actually feel more profoundly my feelings and body’s instinctive reaction to things, that I started getting a wee confused. Maybe over analytical at one point to compensate for feeling “out of control”.
Then it occurred to me, that the smoking (which has a neurological effect and can block pain) was numbing me. I am more aware of everything, both consciously and subconsciously, for my body is reacting. It is weird, and is taking some getting adjusted to. And I am learning to feel, let it go, and try not to control it. Big lesson for me, who is a planner!! Yet it is important that I do so, for I am at a point in my life where trusting the process is reaping beautiful rewards, and I should allow my new founded, smoke free self reap its rewards.
By listening and engaging in self talk as I feel new things, and retooling the way I react—with a “enjoy the ride and let go, will ya!” attitude and approach, I am discovering a part of me that that is excited to grow and learn.
On the flip—what about the others who continue to medicate themselves—why are they afraid of their authentic self? Or is it that they do not realize that they are medicating themselves in the first place? Some may not even realize that the bad habit that they picked up—whether it be smoking, drinking too much, or some other overly indulged behavior that has negative consequences—is masking a pain they are not willing to bear.
So it is possible that with the above flip, we have the “mask” effect that we conversed about earlier where there is a little soul death. I know the very day I started smoking:
04 February 1990, Greensboro NC, at the Amoco gas station on the corner of Friendly Avenue and Green Valley Road. I was gassing up and heading out to Raleigh, about 11:15am, in deep pain. I had just got the call that my grandmother had died, and my world feel apart instantly. In my young, tender adult’s eyes reflecting upon childhood, she was all that I had. And then she was gone… before goodbye’s, last words, you name it.
question: what is your medication?
…retooling reactions: where I am even more so evaluating and adjusting how I embrace things, based on self talk balanced with loving gratuity
particularly in one special situation.
As you know, I have stopped smoking. Wow, what a trip that has been!! My body has been numb, I have felt dizzy, lips are stinging. At the same time, I also stopped my graduate education by turning in my thesis. While I wrote my thesis, I sat in front of my sunlamp (Florida girl in one of the darkest spots on earth—trouble!!). So all at once my body was thrown into a tailspin of changes. Then I realized, that for the first time in my life, I can actually feel more profoundly my feelings and body’s instinctive reaction to things, that I started getting a wee confused. Maybe over analytical at one point to compensate for feeling “out of control”.
Then it occurred to me, that the smoking (which has a neurological effect and can block pain) was numbing me. I am more aware of everything, both consciously and subconsciously, for my body is reacting. It is weird, and is taking some getting adjusted to. And I am learning to feel, let it go, and try not to control it. Big lesson for me, who is a planner!! Yet it is important that I do so, for I am at a point in my life where trusting the process is reaping beautiful rewards, and I should allow my new founded, smoke free self reap its rewards.
By listening and engaging in self talk as I feel new things, and retooling the way I react—with a “enjoy the ride and let go, will ya!” attitude and approach, I am discovering a part of me that that is excited to grow and learn.
On the flip—what about the others who continue to medicate themselves—why are they afraid of their authentic self? Or is it that they do not realize that they are medicating themselves in the first place? Some may not even realize that the bad habit that they picked up—whether it be smoking, drinking too much, or some other overly indulged behavior that has negative consequences—is masking a pain they are not willing to bear.
So it is possible that with the above flip, we have the “mask” effect that we conversed about earlier where there is a little soul death. I know the very day I started smoking:
04 February 1990, Greensboro NC, at the Amoco gas station on the corner of Friendly Avenue and Green Valley Road. I was gassing up and heading out to Raleigh, about 11:15am, in deep pain. I had just got the call that my grandmother had died, and my world feel apart instantly. In my young, tender adult’s eyes reflecting upon childhood, she was all that I had. And then she was gone… before goodbye’s, last words, you name it.
question: what is your medication?
14 December 2006
lana factor...
Continuing from our conversation from yester, I am pulling from amazing Iraqi bloggers and their hope and inspiration they offer.
As a recap, from http://iraqblogcount.blogspot.com/ there are bloggers in and from Iraq that are sharing in our quest to move humanity forward to a thoughtful and loving level. This next blogger has a heart of gold, platinum actually, for it is pure, preserves and transcends all things. She is rock solid. At http://mymanydreams.blogspot.com/ you will encounter the
…lana factor: compassionate, articulate thoughts of a complex yet imploring nature that inspires and challenges us all
making us realize that we have no excuse but to become better people.
Her gratuity is melting—she has only studied English for 3 years, yet at her tender age of 13 years one would never even realize that English is probably her third and youngest language. She provokes you to think beyond your borders, whether they are physical or spiritual, to see things in a worldly perspective and how each facet of humanity needs consideration, thoughtfulness and embracing.
To see such gentility makes my heart leap. This young lady is 13! And she is dedicated to sharing her thoughts and innocence to us all. Speaking of innocence, it is easy for some to dismiss her observations as secondary to that innocence, however it is that very thing we need in this world to regain our emotional quotient as we grow older, for it is a basic pillar that we should not abandon. Once we lose her perspective we shall begin to falter.
On the flip—what if we do not have a lana factor? How do we start to find one, and, what if we are not in a place where we can accept it? Some possibly may not designed to have a lana factor, and therefore could it be so, for we need that antithesis to see the greater good?
Please read and comment on her blog, in the most loving and upholding of ways. I know the country in which she now lives, and it is not easy at times. For her to have such a bright spirit is inspiring, and if I could even aspire to 10% of her energy, I am a better person indeed.
question: what is your lana factor?
As a recap, from http://iraqblogcount.blogspot.com/ there are bloggers in and from Iraq that are sharing in our quest to move humanity forward to a thoughtful and loving level. This next blogger has a heart of gold, platinum actually, for it is pure, preserves and transcends all things. She is rock solid. At http://mymanydreams.blogspot.com/ you will encounter the
…lana factor: compassionate, articulate thoughts of a complex yet imploring nature that inspires and challenges us all
making us realize that we have no excuse but to become better people.
Her gratuity is melting—she has only studied English for 3 years, yet at her tender age of 13 years one would never even realize that English is probably her third and youngest language. She provokes you to think beyond your borders, whether they are physical or spiritual, to see things in a worldly perspective and how each facet of humanity needs consideration, thoughtfulness and embracing.
To see such gentility makes my heart leap. This young lady is 13! And she is dedicated to sharing her thoughts and innocence to us all. Speaking of innocence, it is easy for some to dismiss her observations as secondary to that innocence, however it is that very thing we need in this world to regain our emotional quotient as we grow older, for it is a basic pillar that we should not abandon. Once we lose her perspective we shall begin to falter.
On the flip—what if we do not have a lana factor? How do we start to find one, and, what if we are not in a place where we can accept it? Some possibly may not designed to have a lana factor, and therefore could it be so, for we need that antithesis to see the greater good?
Please read and comment on her blog, in the most loving and upholding of ways. I know the country in which she now lives, and it is not easy at times. For her to have such a bright spirit is inspiring, and if I could even aspire to 10% of her energy, I am a better person indeed.
question: what is your lana factor?
13 December 2006
five rings...
I have to give props to a Dkos diarist for opening this wonderful window to me, of which I want to share with you all.
One of the amazing things about people who strive to become beautiful, amazing people everyday is that we are all over the world! And the diarist at Dkos (the Angry Rakkasan, “When Iraqis Fall Silent, http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/12/12/153122/49) drew attention to the bloggers in Iraq. There are fewer now, only 110 out of 212 are still blogging, yet nevertheless they are getting the message of humanity and its gifts out as often as possible. To see more, go to http://iraqblogcount.blogspot.com/ to see them all.
Tonight I am profiling an amazing endeavour by Kyubai, a compassionate man whose goal is to engage us in practicing all of the 7 virtues. His blog is called Five Rings and coined as the Virtue Experiment, his goal is for us to practice the 7 virtues in our lives daily and report on what differences it makes as well as the process that we are going through as we live them. As I am still searching for his definition of his web site, my interpretation of the
…five rings: is that we each have five rings, or pillars or facets if you will, of humanity that moves us forward each day
to make a difference in our lives, the lives of those who touch us as well as the world we live in.
His blog is http://kyubai-shin-shin.blogspot.com/
a.must.read.
For me, my five *rings*, or pillars, are—gratuity, acceptance, appreciation, affirmation and acknowledgement.
Gratuity—to be thankful and gracious for all things
Acceptance—to embrace all walks of life and experiences as contributing to our growth
Appreciation—to take acceptance to the next level by honouring the elements, whether it is a person or an experience, and how it contributes to our growth
Affirmation—taking appreciation as step further by committing to the very element
Acknowledgement—can be considered the pre step to all of the above, for it is important to openly acknowledge people in particular of their power and grace, and how it touches our lives
We as humans need to be in a tribe to a degree, and that can be many things and mean many things. Yet the most basic things that we need to give to one another is acknowledging our feelings and thoughts, accepting each other for who we are as humans, appreciate what we bring to the table for we are unique and have special gifts to bear, affirm the previous through verbal and action oriented commitment and be gracious for the opportunity for having each other in our lives, exemplified by our actions.
On the flip—what about the inability to formulate such loving pillars? Could it be that we are trapped in our masks and slowly having the *little soul deaths* for we are afraid to be our authentic selves? Or is it possible that some are just not able to achieve this, for it is not in their design?
Either way, it is our responsibility as beautiful creatures to challenge ourselves and those around us to aspire to five pillars of humanity. We all may not succeed, yet (to me) it is our responsibility to try with what we have.
question: what are your five pillars?
stay tuned… I will be featuring another Iraqi blogger tomorrow—an AMAZING 13 year old girl who lives in Denmark whose insight will startle you awake…
One of the amazing things about people who strive to become beautiful, amazing people everyday is that we are all over the world! And the diarist at Dkos (the Angry Rakkasan, “When Iraqis Fall Silent, http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/12/12/153122/49) drew attention to the bloggers in Iraq. There are fewer now, only 110 out of 212 are still blogging, yet nevertheless they are getting the message of humanity and its gifts out as often as possible. To see more, go to http://iraqblogcount.blogspot.com/ to see them all.
Tonight I am profiling an amazing endeavour by Kyubai, a compassionate man whose goal is to engage us in practicing all of the 7 virtues. His blog is called Five Rings and coined as the Virtue Experiment, his goal is for us to practice the 7 virtues in our lives daily and report on what differences it makes as well as the process that we are going through as we live them. As I am still searching for his definition of his web site, my interpretation of the
…five rings: is that we each have five rings, or pillars or facets if you will, of humanity that moves us forward each day
to make a difference in our lives, the lives of those who touch us as well as the world we live in.
His blog is http://kyubai-shin-shin.blogspot.com/
a.must.read.
For me, my five *rings*, or pillars, are—gratuity, acceptance, appreciation, affirmation and acknowledgement.
Gratuity—to be thankful and gracious for all things
Acceptance—to embrace all walks of life and experiences as contributing to our growth
Appreciation—to take acceptance to the next level by honouring the elements, whether it is a person or an experience, and how it contributes to our growth
Affirmation—taking appreciation as step further by committing to the very element
Acknowledgement—can be considered the pre step to all of the above, for it is important to openly acknowledge people in particular of their power and grace, and how it touches our lives
We as humans need to be in a tribe to a degree, and that can be many things and mean many things. Yet the most basic things that we need to give to one another is acknowledging our feelings and thoughts, accepting each other for who we are as humans, appreciate what we bring to the table for we are unique and have special gifts to bear, affirm the previous through verbal and action oriented commitment and be gracious for the opportunity for having each other in our lives, exemplified by our actions.
On the flip—what about the inability to formulate such loving pillars? Could it be that we are trapped in our masks and slowly having the *little soul deaths* for we are afraid to be our authentic selves? Or is it possible that some are just not able to achieve this, for it is not in their design?
Either way, it is our responsibility as beautiful creatures to challenge ourselves and those around us to aspire to five pillars of humanity. We all may not succeed, yet (to me) it is our responsibility to try with what we have.
question: what are your five pillars?
stay tuned… I will be featuring another Iraqi blogger tomorrow—an AMAZING 13 year old girl who lives in Denmark whose insight will startle you awake…
11 December 2006
candor pays...
By now you are probably wondering as to why in the world I have been pulling inspiration from *orbiting the giant hairball* as of late. There are several reasons. First, after a few months with school, work and what-not, my brain is drained just a bit. And secondly, from a spiritual perspective, I am still in a process of discovery and have succumbed to the *comfortable silence* it is providing me and interestingly, at times I like holding it close a bit, for me only and maybe one other.
Last reason, well, organizational life has always mystified me. I have been a grass roots, underdog kind of girl all my life and organizational life seems to squash those things. Or at least in most instances it does, for it is rather top down and does not embrace the energies of individuals. Emotional quotients are lost the further we climb the corporate ladder. Sad indeed. Yet I embrace the challenge for it is exciting, almost like a game and is certainly never dull.
My master thesis investigated why a gap occurs between the organization’s vision (what the organization professes to be) and the culture (employees). I drew upon organizational hypocrisy theory and substantiated the gaps by looking at management’s actions, the professed organizational philosophies and the employee’s perspective of rewards (hat tip to Tom Philippe and his linking the three as proposed theory). Interesting results! And to top off the findings, change management was the prescribed remedy.
Next leap—organizational hypocrisy needs more attention, yet it is not investigated too deeply for it is highly controversial. One of the modern thought leaders on OH is Tom Philippe, a friend from home. He is pretty cool, rides a Harley, is a funny guy and a champion of the underdog as well. He is the one who loaned me *orbiting the giant hairball* (well, definitely for not as long as he thought… oh, I have had it now for about 6 years), of which I read at least once a year.
There is a passage about masks and little soul deaths that are a result of us striving to be perfect in the face of others—in the quest for the A+ we put a mask on, hiding our pain that we bear in the quest for perfection, only to slowly kill our soul in the process. That A+ can be a promotion, pay increase or more responsibility. It builds upon the consensus reality conversation of yester. And the nail is hit on the head when it the passage is closed with
…candor pays: honesty, openness and frankness in all that we do
has a pay off and therefore is worth the risk. Essentially, being our authentic self is worth it. I would love to transcribe the passage, yet that copyright disclaimer… ugh!
On the flip—we all have taken the risk before at some point, we have opened up and shared our authentic self and have been squashed, so why do it again? After all, the tribe will punish us and that pain alone is tough to bear so why bother?
Bother all your heart’s desire. The pain we feel when the tribe punishes us comes from the place of *I have not been accepted for who I am*. Turn it around graciously—it could be that you have not been understood, or even the people with whom you share your authentic self are not ready to receive it. When we are rejected, it is not our short coming, nor a poor reflection of who we are, it is because others are not ready to receive and engage with our authentic self (and to think of it, they are not ready to share their authentic self), and that is our *red flag* to wait it out and trust the process.
question: how does your candor speak?
Last reason, well, organizational life has always mystified me. I have been a grass roots, underdog kind of girl all my life and organizational life seems to squash those things. Or at least in most instances it does, for it is rather top down and does not embrace the energies of individuals. Emotional quotients are lost the further we climb the corporate ladder. Sad indeed. Yet I embrace the challenge for it is exciting, almost like a game and is certainly never dull.
My master thesis investigated why a gap occurs between the organization’s vision (what the organization professes to be) and the culture (employees). I drew upon organizational hypocrisy theory and substantiated the gaps by looking at management’s actions, the professed organizational philosophies and the employee’s perspective of rewards (hat tip to Tom Philippe and his linking the three as proposed theory). Interesting results! And to top off the findings, change management was the prescribed remedy.
Next leap—organizational hypocrisy needs more attention, yet it is not investigated too deeply for it is highly controversial. One of the modern thought leaders on OH is Tom Philippe, a friend from home. He is pretty cool, rides a Harley, is a funny guy and a champion of the underdog as well. He is the one who loaned me *orbiting the giant hairball* (well, definitely for not as long as he thought… oh, I have had it now for about 6 years), of which I read at least once a year.
There is a passage about masks and little soul deaths that are a result of us striving to be perfect in the face of others—in the quest for the A+ we put a mask on, hiding our pain that we bear in the quest for perfection, only to slowly kill our soul in the process. That A+ can be a promotion, pay increase or more responsibility. It builds upon the consensus reality conversation of yester. And the nail is hit on the head when it the passage is closed with
…candor pays: honesty, openness and frankness in all that we do
has a pay off and therefore is worth the risk. Essentially, being our authentic self is worth it. I would love to transcribe the passage, yet that copyright disclaimer… ugh!
On the flip—we all have taken the risk before at some point, we have opened up and shared our authentic self and have been squashed, so why do it again? After all, the tribe will punish us and that pain alone is tough to bear so why bother?
Bother all your heart’s desire. The pain we feel when the tribe punishes us comes from the place of *I have not been accepted for who I am*. Turn it around graciously—it could be that you have not been understood, or even the people with whom you share your authentic self are not ready to receive it. When we are rejected, it is not our short coming, nor a poor reflection of who we are, it is because others are not ready to receive and engage with our authentic self (and to think of it, they are not ready to share their authentic self), and that is our *red flag* to wait it out and trust the process.
question: how does your candor speak?
10 December 2006
consensus reality...
Seems fitting to continue with the northern Europe-slash-giant hairball theme. Let me explain.
One of the most interesting features of Danish society is the art of consensus. It is difficult as an outsider to see where it starts, yet when you are in the thick of it you just know. It is an intricate social custom that occurs in group dynamics when pursuing a decision. And it is rooted in socializing, kind of ends with a decision and waiting for action. Looking for the cultural signal as to when consensus ends is a phenomena unto itself, and I just recommend you wait for others to leave the table before you do. A friend who is now is Boston terms consensus seeking behaviour as *spreading the liability* of the decision making process so that if the action does not happen (which it usually does not, at least not in the performance/solution oriented way of looking at things) or the decision fails or is terrible, there is not one person to blame but the group. No one gets into trouble, which is tough for of course my question is *where is the accountability*? Ah, never mind…
Slam this concept into everyday life and stretch it. When we are going about our day, at times we have an opportunity to step outside of our box and really do something creative or out of the ordinary, only to succumb to our
…consensus reality: where we allow the *tribe* of others in life, those who do not dare, to influence us to maintain the status quo
and not get out of that shipping container. It is our problem! We must own it!
And why? Even though there is a group that is sharing the liability, at the end of the day it is up to us to express our authentic selves and push outside of our boxes to be brilliant and beautiful people. We are liable for our development, regardless of what the tribe does. The tribe may go on, droningly so, yet we lose out if we do not dare.
On the flip—what if the tribe provides that sense of family we long for, even though it drives us from our authentic self? It is rather *lowest common denominator* to say the least, yet does it serve as a protection from harm when we stand out? Or, if we all say to hell with this and step outside our boxes, are we not then creating a new tribe? Then what?
Personally, the LCD concept is what holds most things back, stifling growth and development. Creative genius suffers, beautiful people do not evolve and amazing things cannot come to fruition with the LCD-- that tribal mediated reality in the form of consensus.
There are many out there who are ready and willing to go that extra mile on the inside to make a difference on the outside. Open the door and break from the inactionable consensus reality-- there are more of us out here than we think!
question: what is your tribal reality?
One of the most interesting features of Danish society is the art of consensus. It is difficult as an outsider to see where it starts, yet when you are in the thick of it you just know. It is an intricate social custom that occurs in group dynamics when pursuing a decision. And it is rooted in socializing, kind of ends with a decision and waiting for action. Looking for the cultural signal as to when consensus ends is a phenomena unto itself, and I just recommend you wait for others to leave the table before you do. A friend who is now is Boston terms consensus seeking behaviour as *spreading the liability* of the decision making process so that if the action does not happen (which it usually does not, at least not in the performance/solution oriented way of looking at things) or the decision fails or is terrible, there is not one person to blame but the group. No one gets into trouble, which is tough for of course my question is *where is the accountability*? Ah, never mind…
Slam this concept into everyday life and stretch it. When we are going about our day, at times we have an opportunity to step outside of our box and really do something creative or out of the ordinary, only to succumb to our
…consensus reality: where we allow the *tribe* of others in life, those who do not dare, to influence us to maintain the status quo
and not get out of that shipping container. It is our problem! We must own it!
And why? Even though there is a group that is sharing the liability, at the end of the day it is up to us to express our authentic selves and push outside of our boxes to be brilliant and beautiful people. We are liable for our development, regardless of what the tribe does. The tribe may go on, droningly so, yet we lose out if we do not dare.
On the flip—what if the tribe provides that sense of family we long for, even though it drives us from our authentic self? It is rather *lowest common denominator* to say the least, yet does it serve as a protection from harm when we stand out? Or, if we all say to hell with this and step outside our boxes, are we not then creating a new tribe? Then what?
Personally, the LCD concept is what holds most things back, stifling growth and development. Creative genius suffers, beautiful people do not evolve and amazing things cannot come to fruition with the LCD-- that tribal mediated reality in the form of consensus.
There are many out there who are ready and willing to go that extra mile on the inside to make a difference on the outside. Open the door and break from the inactionable consensus reality-- there are more of us out here than we think!
question: what is your tribal reality?
08 December 2006
shipping containers...
I may be living in northern Europe, yet in this sense I am not referring to the white star laden, blue behemoths of Mærsk! :)
Continuing from our starting point last night, inspiration is being served by *Orbiting the Giant Hairball*. It surely plugs thoughts into the brain!
There was a time where human made containers did not exist and we operated on instinct, sense of daring and curiosity. Of course our will to survive was a guiding instinct to a degree, yet to live we dared. Until a container came about, more than likely as a part of the evolutionary process, aiding the genius of natural selection—the example in the book was made of how humans at one point discovered that with a container, they can take more water with them, therefore minimizing the danger of being bent over a watering hole drinking, backs turned to what was lurking from behind. And to think a Pandora’s box was born out of the need to survive!
Fast forward to society today—relationships are intricate, life is tricky and the world is all a maze. Many have become
…shipping containers: boxing ourselves in, afraid to share and grow, yet somehow moving along in life
very akin to the very things that are on large sea vessels. We are getting along, somehow. Yet remain the same. Someone or something else packs us, moves us, unloads us—it could be the fast pace of life, our inability to dare to be different or the *not knowing* how to break free from the container in which we are bound.
Containers are all around us. Job descriptions, roles, expectations, office cubicles, routines. They are the very things that allow us to become complacent and afraid to truly live. Think about it. When you were a child, did you ever stop dead in your tracks while pursuing things out of curiosity? There really were no boxes, well, at least for some. And as we grow older, we are more confined and afraid to take a risk… damn those boxes!
On the flip—are containers more suited as a protective device? Are there more things that demand our being level headed as we get older, therefore staying in the routine keeps us there? Or are we just kidding ourselves after all?
Containers certainly can be good at certain times—we do need to set boundaries every now and then to regroup. Yet take a look around and notice—creative genius seems to tank the older we get. Going for the love of your life and doing what it takes to sustain it is not as common. Sharing your authentic self with others is a rarity. To hell with the containers, I say. Jump off that ship, take the dive into the waters, and as we have conversed before, make informed decisions along the way. Life is short, it is waiting for you to live it. And, the process itself is enriching and contributes to becoming a beautiful being.
question: where is your box?
Continuing from our starting point last night, inspiration is being served by *Orbiting the Giant Hairball*. It surely plugs thoughts into the brain!
There was a time where human made containers did not exist and we operated on instinct, sense of daring and curiosity. Of course our will to survive was a guiding instinct to a degree, yet to live we dared. Until a container came about, more than likely as a part of the evolutionary process, aiding the genius of natural selection—the example in the book was made of how humans at one point discovered that with a container, they can take more water with them, therefore minimizing the danger of being bent over a watering hole drinking, backs turned to what was lurking from behind. And to think a Pandora’s box was born out of the need to survive!
Fast forward to society today—relationships are intricate, life is tricky and the world is all a maze. Many have become
…shipping containers: boxing ourselves in, afraid to share and grow, yet somehow moving along in life
very akin to the very things that are on large sea vessels. We are getting along, somehow. Yet remain the same. Someone or something else packs us, moves us, unloads us—it could be the fast pace of life, our inability to dare to be different or the *not knowing* how to break free from the container in which we are bound.
Containers are all around us. Job descriptions, roles, expectations, office cubicles, routines. They are the very things that allow us to become complacent and afraid to truly live. Think about it. When you were a child, did you ever stop dead in your tracks while pursuing things out of curiosity? There really were no boxes, well, at least for some. And as we grow older, we are more confined and afraid to take a risk… damn those boxes!
On the flip—are containers more suited as a protective device? Are there more things that demand our being level headed as we get older, therefore staying in the routine keeps us there? Or are we just kidding ourselves after all?
Containers certainly can be good at certain times—we do need to set boundaries every now and then to regroup. Yet take a look around and notice—creative genius seems to tank the older we get. Going for the love of your life and doing what it takes to sustain it is not as common. Sharing your authentic self with others is a rarity. To hell with the containers, I say. Jump off that ship, take the dive into the waters, and as we have conversed before, make informed decisions along the way. Life is short, it is waiting for you to live it. And, the process itself is enriching and contributes to becoming a beautiful being.
question: where is your box?
07 December 2006
you're secure...
Now that I have the chaos of the master thesis FAR, FAR behind me, I am relieved. I have more time to do what I love most—blog my thoughts. Also, I have time to read things that have nothing to do with school and I am even staying away from medical literature (am a medical junkie, is part of my job and a passion driven hobby). So to refresh myself, each year I read a fabulous book (several times) called *Orbiting the Giant Hairball* by Gordon MacKenzie. It is about how to keep your light, energy and spirit intact while navigating organizational life. Gordon was a Creative Director at Hallmark. A. must. read. for. everyone. I have to give a huge thanks to Tom Philippe, a leading academic in the field of organizational hypocrisy and a good friend and mentor, for lending me this book (and yes, I should have returned it… Tom, I will get you another one!). This book brings me joy every time I read it.
There is an entry that discusses how we aim to be free—free from the constraints of society, of the jail cell that we create around ourselves and of the expectation that others have of us. He refers to a cartoon where Garfield the cat strives to free all of these animals at a pet shop by opening their cages. They do not move. Instead they are frightened. Quickly Garfield reacts by closing the cages, remarking
…you’re secure: by staying in your shell and not challenging the world, yourself and embracing life
only to remain in the same stagnant state as before. Unhappy, yet resolved through fear to remain the same. “cage dwellers” is the term Gordon uses.
What a concept!
I am sure that we have all hit that point. I find myself there a wee bit lately (and I mean only a teeny bit!)—having made some amazing changes, returning to the girl I know best, I am relearning who I am and sometimes get *stuck* in my “secure” cage, yet only to dwell there momentarily.
On the flip—what if we do not have soldiers like Garfield to open our cages? And once our cage is open, is it possible that the world we know is truly healthy and we do not need to leave? After all, why leave when the going is perceivably good?
My thought is—if the world in which we live is healthy, we will leave the cage when the door is open. We may even try to squeeze through the bars just to continue the journey of life, impatient for someone or something to open the door. Curious people are not afraid. Beautiful people are not afraid. And yes, none of us are 100% “healthy”, yet those of us who strive to be so are not afraid.
We may know others who are just as afraid and frozen. Our challenge is to assist them to take that jump, squeeze through the bars, whatever it takes to be free in life. And I am learning that in a relationship it takes both to do so, committing to that level with one another, so that each grows beautifully as individuals and that the relationship as a whole is exciting, fulfilling and a journey all of its own.
question: what is your “security”?
There is an entry that discusses how we aim to be free—free from the constraints of society, of the jail cell that we create around ourselves and of the expectation that others have of us. He refers to a cartoon where Garfield the cat strives to free all of these animals at a pet shop by opening their cages. They do not move. Instead they are frightened. Quickly Garfield reacts by closing the cages, remarking
…you’re secure: by staying in your shell and not challenging the world, yourself and embracing life
only to remain in the same stagnant state as before. Unhappy, yet resolved through fear to remain the same. “cage dwellers” is the term Gordon uses.
What a concept!
I am sure that we have all hit that point. I find myself there a wee bit lately (and I mean only a teeny bit!)—having made some amazing changes, returning to the girl I know best, I am relearning who I am and sometimes get *stuck* in my “secure” cage, yet only to dwell there momentarily.
On the flip—what if we do not have soldiers like Garfield to open our cages? And once our cage is open, is it possible that the world we know is truly healthy and we do not need to leave? After all, why leave when the going is perceivably good?
My thought is—if the world in which we live is healthy, we will leave the cage when the door is open. We may even try to squeeze through the bars just to continue the journey of life, impatient for someone or something to open the door. Curious people are not afraid. Beautiful people are not afraid. And yes, none of us are 100% “healthy”, yet those of us who strive to be so are not afraid.
We may know others who are just as afraid and frozen. Our challenge is to assist them to take that jump, squeeze through the bars, whatever it takes to be free in life. And I am learning that in a relationship it takes both to do so, committing to that level with one another, so that each grows beautifully as individuals and that the relationship as a whole is exciting, fulfilling and a journey all of its own.
question: what is your “security”?
06 December 2006
divine essence...
What makes a beautiful relationship? What are the characteristics, ingredients, make up? I am learning this over the years by picking up the nuggets of all the relationships—whether they are plutonic, romantic, professional, or familial. You name it. Taking stock of it all. And I am applying what I have learned in the lessons of
divine essence… where the core of things beautiful are inspirational and eye opening, emanating from a vulnerable center
and investing it in the people that touch my life today and the days, years to come.
One of the things I have picked up this past weekend is how much courage it takes for someone to tell you that you have hurt them—a core fundament of divine essence. Now it is a difficult thing to bear, learn, understand and manage. Yet it taught me that when you are looking into the eyes of someone that you love dearly, when you hear that you have hurt them a relief comes over you—that sigh of relaxation that allows you to embrace the opportunity to take that moment, learn from it and continue to grow together.
On the flip—what if we do not have those strong people in our lives to tell us that we have hurt them? Where would the relationship be headed if those things remain buried? It would seem that an illusionary relationship would persist, and for some it is a necessary evil for they may fear they will be rejected. And what about us? Where does it get us to not be so daringly, essentially divine with those who are in our lives?
I say take the jump. Tell someone when they hurt you and be open when they return the favour. As much as we can be sensitive and feel that we are being attacked, in the end we are not. For the very person who tells you that you have hurt them is doing so for one very reason—they have a vested interest in you, in the relationship and want to see things grow beautifully. Trust me. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in the eyes of those who love us is the way to handle things.
question: when and with whom are you essentially divine?
divine essence… where the core of things beautiful are inspirational and eye opening, emanating from a vulnerable center
and investing it in the people that touch my life today and the days, years to come.
One of the things I have picked up this past weekend is how much courage it takes for someone to tell you that you have hurt them—a core fundament of divine essence. Now it is a difficult thing to bear, learn, understand and manage. Yet it taught me that when you are looking into the eyes of someone that you love dearly, when you hear that you have hurt them a relief comes over you—that sigh of relaxation that allows you to embrace the opportunity to take that moment, learn from it and continue to grow together.
On the flip—what if we do not have those strong people in our lives to tell us that we have hurt them? Where would the relationship be headed if those things remain buried? It would seem that an illusionary relationship would persist, and for some it is a necessary evil for they may fear they will be rejected. And what about us? Where does it get us to not be so daringly, essentially divine with those who are in our lives?
I say take the jump. Tell someone when they hurt you and be open when they return the favour. As much as we can be sensitive and feel that we are being attacked, in the end we are not. For the very person who tells you that you have hurt them is doing so for one very reason—they have a vested interest in you, in the relationship and want to see things grow beautifully. Trust me. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in the eyes of those who love us is the way to handle things.
question: when and with whom are you essentially divine?
05 December 2006
naked truth...
I am back, I swear! I have just finished my thesis, passed my exams and have graduated!! So now I have more time to dedicate to my thoughts and processes.
I was confronted with an interesting situation today. As you know I have a WONDERFUL coffee chat buddy that I spend time with at work. It is a much needed break, our banter is enriching, combined with work chat and life in general. What I like most is that he and I can speak of the
…naked truth: where honesty, openness and vulnerability are safe and welcome and the basis of our relationship
A plutonic one and that may very well be why we can speak to one another on this level. It is the essence of true friendship. Yet there are a few who are confusing our chats and friendship with what I have no clue. It was brought to my attention today.
What is the deal with THAT?! And why cannot the person who made the original comment to my amazing, beautiful boss not have that same honesty, meaning, why not just come to me? Why make assumptions? Remember to assume makes an ass of you and me (get it? Assume—ass u me… ok, I think we have it). Things like this, when out in the open without the opportunity to explore its truthiness, can change the dynamics of everything, including the very friendship that is navigating the political atmosphere of organizational life.
On the flip—what if those who do not partake in naked truth exchanges choose not to for they are jealous of the very friendship they see? What if it is that they are not strong enough to share? Or what is the motivation behind the comment anyway?
It is a dangerous thing for us to assume. Not only can we be off the mark in our observation, our very comments can out a change process into motion that was not intended, and one that can deviate from friendship. It can cause people to change the way they interact with one another, blunting areas of growth, dialogue and mutual exchange. In my book, it is rather defeatist. Yet I will have to give kudos to my everso amazing boss, for he is not afraid of the naked truth and is willing to move things forward. What a cool guy!
As for the coffee chats, they shall continue, yet know that it is known that someone else is misinterpreting the exchanges, it will be interesting to see how the dynamics of the friendship will now take shape.
question: what is your truth?
I was confronted with an interesting situation today. As you know I have a WONDERFUL coffee chat buddy that I spend time with at work. It is a much needed break, our banter is enriching, combined with work chat and life in general. What I like most is that he and I can speak of the
…naked truth: where honesty, openness and vulnerability are safe and welcome and the basis of our relationship
A plutonic one and that may very well be why we can speak to one another on this level. It is the essence of true friendship. Yet there are a few who are confusing our chats and friendship with what I have no clue. It was brought to my attention today.
What is the deal with THAT?! And why cannot the person who made the original comment to my amazing, beautiful boss not have that same honesty, meaning, why not just come to me? Why make assumptions? Remember to assume makes an ass of you and me (get it? Assume—ass u me… ok, I think we have it). Things like this, when out in the open without the opportunity to explore its truthiness, can change the dynamics of everything, including the very friendship that is navigating the political atmosphere of organizational life.
On the flip—what if those who do not partake in naked truth exchanges choose not to for they are jealous of the very friendship they see? What if it is that they are not strong enough to share? Or what is the motivation behind the comment anyway?
It is a dangerous thing for us to assume. Not only can we be off the mark in our observation, our very comments can out a change process into motion that was not intended, and one that can deviate from friendship. It can cause people to change the way they interact with one another, blunting areas of growth, dialogue and mutual exchange. In my book, it is rather defeatist. Yet I will have to give kudos to my everso amazing boss, for he is not afraid of the naked truth and is willing to move things forward. What a cool guy!
As for the coffee chats, they shall continue, yet know that it is known that someone else is misinterpreting the exchanges, it will be interesting to see how the dynamics of the friendship will now take shape.
question: what is your truth?
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