candor pays...

By now you are probably wondering as to why in the world I have been pulling inspiration from *orbiting the giant hairball* as of late. There are several reasons. First, after a few months with school, work and what-not, my brain is drained just a bit. And secondly, from a spiritual perspective, I am still in a process of discovery and have succumbed to the *comfortable silence* it is providing me and interestingly, at times I like holding it close a bit, for me only and maybe one other.

Last reason, well, organizational life has always mystified me. I have been a grass roots, underdog kind of girl all my life and organizational life seems to squash those things. Or at least in most instances it does, for it is rather top down and does not embrace the energies of individuals. Emotional quotients are lost the further we climb the corporate ladder. Sad indeed. Yet I embrace the challenge for it is exciting, almost like a game and is certainly never dull.

My master thesis investigated why a gap occurs between the organization’s vision (what the organization professes to be) and the culture (employees). I drew upon organizational hypocrisy theory and substantiated the gaps by looking at management’s actions, the professed organizational philosophies and the employee’s perspective of rewards (hat tip to Tom Philippe and his linking the three as proposed theory). Interesting results! And to top off the findings, change management was the prescribed remedy.

Next leap—organizational hypocrisy needs more attention, yet it is not investigated too deeply for it is highly controversial. One of the modern thought leaders on OH is Tom Philippe, a friend from home. He is pretty cool, rides a Harley, is a funny guy and a champion of the underdog as well. He is the one who loaned me *orbiting the giant hairball* (well, definitely for not as long as he thought… oh, I have had it now for about 6 years), of which I read at least once a year.

There is a passage about masks and little soul deaths that are a result of us striving to be perfect in the face of others—in the quest for the A+ we put a mask on, hiding our pain that we bear in the quest for perfection, only to slowly kill our soul in the process. That A+ can be a promotion, pay increase or more responsibility. It builds upon the consensus reality conversation of yester. And the nail is hit on the head when it the passage is closed with

…candor pays: honesty, openness and frankness in all that we do

has a pay off and therefore is worth the risk. Essentially, being our authentic self is worth it. I would love to transcribe the passage, yet that copyright disclaimer… ugh!

On the flip—we all have taken the risk before at some point, we have opened up and shared our authentic self and have been squashed, so why do it again? After all, the tribe will punish us and that pain alone is tough to bear so why bother?

Bother all your heart’s desire. The pain we feel when the tribe punishes us comes from the place of *I have not been accepted for who I am*. Turn it around graciously—it could be that you have not been understood, or even the people with whom you share your authentic self are not ready to receive it. When we are rejected, it is not our short coming, nor a poor reflection of who we are, it is because others are not ready to receive and engage with our authentic self (and to think of it, they are not ready to share their authentic self), and that is our *red flag* to wait it out and trust the process.

question: how does your candor speak?