cat circle...

Yes, yes. I know. Have not had an entry here in two weeks. Just as Bartlomeij and I chatted about in Warsaw, when things are even keeled and there is not either a heart break or swoon, there is usually silence. Or, a perhaps a process in motion that is so subtle, we are being *put to the test* so to speak, with our new founded knowledge of who we are and how we make decisions.

There is a saying here in Denmark that refers to making decisions as to whether or not one should move forward. When it comes to dating, as opposed to the going out on multiple dates to get to know someone, here it is customary to let “the

…cat circle: around the warm porridge”

Explanation: it is like a mating ritual, so to speak, when applied to dating. The saying actually refers to waiting, secondary to indecision. The cat is waiting for the right time to take action and it is appropriate to do so when the porridge is just right in temperature.

When two people are interested in one another, they slowly get to know each other without going on dates. In fact, going on a first date in Scandinavia is a signal that it is serious. The focus is on the process of getting to know one another and not the end result of a date. Tough to do with everyday life in the way!

I think, think, think I was circling the warm porridge. I really do not know for this process is new to me. Of course my results-oriented cultural upbringing has me laughing at times by referring to the dance as *circling the drain*. After what has transpired as of late, it is more like circling a dead cat.

Who knows, really, what is to happen next! It could be that the cat has a warm pulse and all that is needed is throwing the warm porridge on the cat to bring it back to life. Wait a sec, do I have to go through this 8 more times?!

On the flip—what does a process like this teach us?

I am learning to be more patient, to let things go as they should without having that (stupid) need to be in control. After all, letting things unfold slowly is a beautiful process. I have enjoyed it so far, albeit I had a few moments of frustration sprinkled here and there. It is teaching me to not be focused on the end result—a date with a pretty sweet person—and to let time show me who they are.

After all, this lesson is invaluable, and I have a feeling that I need will it for my next adventure.

question: is your porridge too hot, too cold or just right?